Teacher's feedback:
You have a very good ending sentence in your paragraph 1.
"Soon boredom caught up with us" provides a very logical condition for your
group to begin your paragraph 2 using "Then an idea came to my mind".
I hope all of you can see how a paragraph can be linked to the next paragraph through this example.
Next, one way to enhance your writing skills include the use of the "one liner paragraph".
There is only one sentence per paragraph.
For example:
I searched the toilet, no one was there.
I ransacked the cabinets, could not see my brother either.
I opened the old wooden chest... There he was!
In this piece of writing, we could modify this strategy as such:
Mary searched the bathroom... and took a plastic pole.
Sam ransacked the our parent's room... and grabbed their beloved blankets.
I scanned through the kitchen... and found a box of matchstick.
Did you notice that different verbs were used?
Why is that so?
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